When I was a child I use to wonder how women became prostitutes, how people became addicts, how women became lesbians, and men fags.
As I grew older I became many of those people who were turned out. But it wasn’t until years later I was able to answer my own question and I began to understand how and why. That is no means a reason for justifying those acts. So when I look back at those who have suffered the tremendous amount of grief, pain, and trauma they all broke. They are either dead, in prison, or living while dead. Many of them have lost their soul and they’re spirit to the point of no return.
And me? Well I am alive, healthy with a few battle scars, a home, husband, and kids. I lost my mind at one point but eventually I found it. I was able to heal as where many can not and they are consumed by their weakness.
See Satan knew way back when that there was weakness amongst me and my ancestors. And generation after generation there was nothing but molestation and homosexuality. Some may say it was a coincidence, but I know that is not true.
So today, I live. I am living. I have looked backed at my pain and I’m still here. I survived what I knew where the worst days and tears of my life. I use to try to understand why me? But through the hell I kept faith. I always searched.. As a child I knew the things around me were not how they were supposed to be. I knew that the suffering generation after generation wasn’t the plan the Lord had to have had for life.
What I believed to be the curse I realized the Lord chose me. Out of my mother’s five kids I was the one to be chosen. Out of all the grandkids my son born of a gadite man of Israel with a mother in the truth. To be given a chance at life instead of being aborted, or killed in a premeditated homicide. He was given life. So the days of feeling cursed, pity and sorry for myself. Well that ended. So I close this chapter of my life.
This story is to be told but not to be relived.
I rose up from the ashes like a phoenix. I walk, talk, and act in the spirit of the new woman. My time has come. After repentance brings redemption.
So unlike many others, say my father, mother, brothers, grandfather, or grandmother, nieces, nephews, cousins my life took a different turn. There was no degree, no job, alcohol, dope money, or captain save a hoe who brought me up out of my struggle. It was the Priest and Prophets of TMH.
There was a time I sat around and waited to die. The thought about death was so heavy I died in my sleep. It was so heavy I purposely committed asks to destroy and attempt to kill myself. I provoked The Lord with my sin. But I have reached a point where I look forward to living.
I live for those who are still asleep. Because I know how a sexually abused woman becomes a prostitute and lesbian, and how a sexually abused boy becomes a faggot or sexialized at a young age that he fucks every crawling thing.
So I chose to live because I know how it felt, what I went through, and how long it takes for a family, let a lone a person to heal.
I was healing and called by a new name. And in time I became that woman. Sober minded, clear thoughts, not too happy and not too sad, just even.
Many don’t make it. But I did.
Redemption comes after repentance. Like the sun after the rain.